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Thursday, 27 April 2017

Stop Asking When I'll Get A Significant Other


Hello, lovelies!

As a 21 year old polyamorous bisexual, there is one question I am getting very, very tired of receiving:

"When are you going to get a serious boyfriend?"

I would love to scream and shout and stomp my feet and exclaim "WHEN I'M READY, THANK YOU." but instead I will laugh awkwardly, shrug, and say soon, hopefully.

Being raised in an extremely religious family, there has been many a fight around the dinner table about sexuality, what's "right", and even how no boy will ever want to be with me if I'm so openly loud about my opinions. Or if I keep getting tattoos. Or if I don't remove my nose ring because it looks "unfeminine." Really.  The only person who knows about my sexuality is my mum, and luckily she is very understanding, but the rest of my family I don't even dare to tell, because I can already feel the "oh you're just being silly" conversations.

There is such a pressure on young women to get married, have children, get a house, build a home, before they've really done anything with their life. Seeing people on my Facebook timeline who are 3 or four years younger than me having children makes me feel... Old. Of course I find myself sitting here sometimes thinking "I'd love to have a baby." but at 21, I can tell you I am not mentally prepared for it. I might not be mentally prepared for it at 31, either. There are so many things that I want to do with my life before I even think about settling down with a significant other, children, two cats and a dog. Seriously? I don't know if I ever will settle down.

Of course I would love to have kids. But if I never do, I don't think it'll be that much an issue to me. As long as whoever I decide to spend my life with is happy, I don't mind.

I am more than happy just now, in the situation I am in, which I'm not going to get into. The people in my life make me feel so happy and so loved that I do not need the labels of being in a relationship.

I wish more people understood this - I am happy. I am content. I do not want to be "serious". I do not want to get married right now. I do not want to have children right now. I want to travel. I want to explore. I want to trek to Machu Picchu. I want to see Thailand and Australia and Japan and Africa.

If you are happy - that is all that matters. Please remember that.

Thank you for reading, I know my posts have been quite serious lately! As always -

I'll see you next time, then.

Ree xo

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